Thoughtful Tuesday – December 10, 2013

There are a few certainties and constants that I have observed in my life thus far:

– I am not an overly patient person
Dec 10_4When faced with a situation that requires me to be patient, I do my best but if it goes on too long I start going a wee bit nuts. Distracting myself is the only option and I keep myself busy with a variety of different activities. Physical exertion tends to work the best, since when I’m running or dancing I have to fully concentrate on what the heck I’m doing, lest I trip or move in a way that would hurt me – plus then I’m too tired to live in my own head when I go to lay down and sleep.

– I approach decisions from an overly realistic perspective
Dec 10_3I am an emotional being – we all are. But I almost never made a decision in the heat of the moment, because I recognize that is how you make decisions which are regretful. I also don’t necessarily make decisions quickly, but when I do finally make a decision, I can and will move quickly.

That is essentially what I did when I moved to BC earlier this year. Something in me told me to go, so that’s what I did. It does occasionally land me in places that I have no extrication plan for, but I will never back down from the challenge of seeing where those paths take me.

– I do my best to accept people as they are – I cannot change them, only change if I want to keep them in my life.Dec 10_2

As a young teen, I discovered that my father had been unfaithful to my mother (bit of a head trip really). It took me several years to decide how I felt, what kind of relationship I would be able to have with him. It’s something that only recently that I’ve been able to even approach to work on. (And the realities of that are definitely an ongoing stress, but that’s a story for another day)

To understand people’s actions, I believe you have to understand yourself, to be unafraid of what you see when you look in the mirror. Dancing as long as I have, I’ve spent a large part of my life staring at my own reflection and refusing to hide from what is reflected back at me. In dance, that means I had/have to understand my own restrictions. In life, I have always stated the truth out loud to my own reflection. Because if I cannot hear myself say it, I would never expect to say it to anyone else.

– I haven’t ever really followed the “normal” path and that has never scared me. Dec 10_1
I don’t actually think there IS a normal path – I think there’s ‘comfortable norms’ that society recognizes, and simply doesn’t understand how to necessarily deal with those of us who decide to follow our own path. I didn’t go to college right out of high school, I attended a year at University of Guelph and realized it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my life so I went to work until I could find something I did enjoy. Eventually, that took me back to school, to WA and to a chapter in my life I had never considered. And now, I’m rapidly approaching the start of a new chapter, and once again I am filled with eagerness. I am most happy when I have occupation. And the benefit of a paycheque is always useful.