You have two options before you.
Neither one is easy.
Neither option will have a “happy” resolution.
Both will be hard and emotionally taxing for you and those who are close to you.
So which do you choose?
Not an easy answer and the “right decision” might never be apparent.
So what do you do? You make a decision that you think you can live with, both in the short and the long term.
And if you are lucky, you might make a choice that will not put you into a worse situation in the long run.
I am in that position now. I have made my really hard choice, neither option had immediate happiness as an result. I have not “finished” this journey by any means. I’ve passed significant milestones this year, the latest one being accomplished today. I have to remind myself daily that I am “playing” a long game, that the frustration and pain I’m feeling now *will* have an end and that I will come out with new knowledge which will help me in the future. But if anyone in the Karma Department is listening: I know that this is supposed to be character building – but you do REALLY think I need any more character at this point? I mean…really??
I have faced set backs and realities that I didn’t expect (because who ever does?), and I am at the point where I feel emotionally, mentally and even physically (health-wise) drained. This is not a cry for help (because that’s not me), this is my way of recognizing that yes I know I am at the point where I need to ask – but the trouble is I don’t even know what kind of help to ask for. What I need to ask for isn’t something that a friend can necessarily give either, frustrating for those who care. If someone’s got a magic wand they’re willing to share, you know where to find me.