“Stupid. Bloody. Fights.”

In 2010, I created a D&D character known as E’kai Komataree, a 4th Edition Dragonborn Paladin-then Warlord-then Hybrid Warlord/Paladin for a homebrew campaign.
What follows is E’kai’s personal journal which was originally started as a recap of the previous play session (we were only playing once a month), but then transitioned into a way for me to expand her character.

Our group of adventurers find a gate to another world and artifacts that bring forth memories of past lives…Destinies that have yet to be fulfilled.


Stupid bloody fights.
Lots of blood. Deep pit. Can’t hit anything worth shit. What a terrible fucking fight. And this blood is getting into all of my armor creases, can’t move through it without it splashing every damn where. We did find a bag of holding from the last fight though, and I grabbed it to store my javelins in. I’m tired of having to grab them from the Ranger before every fight, and if we get surprised, then I don’t have them…

And we have to drop through the pit to get down. Think I should just throw Eldaar and Corrina down there and listen for the screams and or crunch as they hit bottom…

“Curiosity Nearly Kills the Callista!”

In 2010, I created a D&D character known as E’kai Komataree, a 4th Edition Dragonborn Paladin-then Warlord-then Hybrid Warlord/Paladin for a homebrew campaign.
What follows is E’kai’s personal journal which was originally started as a recap of the previous play session (we were only playing once a month), but then transitioned into a way for me to expand her character.

Our group of adventurers find a gate to another world and artifacts that bring forth memories of past lives…Destinies that have yet to be fulfilled.


The moment we realized we could hear the faint noises associated with a dungeon again, the rattle of bones as insects picked them clean, the scurry of rats across the floor, Eldaar was spazzing out and dashed down an unknown hallway, past a surprised Callista (who had chosen that very moment to finally grace us with her presence), and immediately got himself sucked through a vortex. For one who is constantly expounding the virtues of precise movement and action, the Ranger has a hefty impulsive streak. I wonder if he is possessed by a demon that splits his personality in someway…?

Introductions were briefly made between Callista and Kkestral. It brought a smile to my face to note that her circlet appeared to still be embedded in her skin. We waited for several long moments to verify Eldaar wasn’t going to reappear, before starting down the same hallway he’d disappeared along. Reaching a crossroad of rooms we picked a door at random, it opened into darkness. Peering into the visible nothingness, E’ee spoke softly and made a small gesture, and gradually the room brightened to reveal a stone statue of a warrior in the center of the room that rose 20 feet upwards. Along one side of the room were two statues of dragons, and across from us stood 4 cherubs holding vases, standing guard around the other exit to the room.

I stepped around E’ee into the room and made my way to the statue, carefully stepping around signs of disturbed dust at the base. I craned my neck back to inspect the well preserved face of the statue, and noted the similar facial features to that of LORD PADARIG. Behind me, E’ee, Callista and Kkestral moved into the room, but before Callista could step into the room, the door we’d just entered through slammed shut, the bolts rammed home.

Before we could even finish turning to look at the slammed door, Callista and Eldaar appeared simultaneously, stumbling out of a vortex that opened between the two dragon statues. As we were wheeling around to look at them, a horrendous grinding sound of stone on stone was heard and the statue behind me began to move, winding up it’s sword to strike.

We encircled the statue’s base and as I pulled back, I observed a panel on the back of the statue that looked slightly loosened. I pointed it out to Corrina and she nodded decisively, tumbling through the statues legs and prying off the panel, went to work on the exposed gear system, claiming it would take only a few minutes.
Before the statue could turn to attack Corrina, we committed to throwing our best at the statue, dodging the swinging sword as necessary. Several minutes later, Corrina let out a whoop of success, and with another bone grinding sound of stone on stone, the statue came to a stop, the sword an inch away from me.
E’ee threw a last bolt of magic and the sword shuddered, dropping to impacting the ground beside me with such force that I could feel the reverberation through my very bones; I staggered back a step.

Callista and Kkestral drifted towards the cherub statues, and Kkestral leaned in close to inspect the runes inscribed on the vase held on the cherubs shoulders. “Water…in arcane.” Her curiosity satisfied, Kkestral wandered away.

Turning from the sword I observed Callista reaching out to touch the vases and I went to move towards her, arm out stretched as if to stop her. “Maybe we shouldn’t …” I couldn’t even finish my sentence before a force field had snapped up, separating Callista from the rest of us, and water began pouring from the vases. I released an enormous sigh and clapped my previously outstretched hand to my face. “Yup. Told you so…”

Kkestral, thinking perhaps to cut a hole in the force field, stuck her sword into it, but found it got stuck. I moved forward to stand beside her, and aimed a javelin at the closest vase, ramming it through the field but shattering the vase successfully. The javelin remained stuck in field, and water poured slightly faster from the three remaining vases. The water level had already risen to Callista’s knees.

Kkestral bravely stepped through the force field, to help if necessary. Or more likely die beside Callista. She wouldn’t exactly float with all that armor.

E’ee took aim at one of the far vases, cracking but not shattering it. Callista and Corrina each smashed two vases in quick succession, with the water level now up around Corrina’s chest and getting close to Kkestral’s neck. It fell in an endless torrent from the remaining vase. Eldaar took aim but missed, only chipping paint. With his next bolt of energy, E’ee smashed the final vase. Immediately, the force field dropped and the contained water rushed out over our feet.

Crap, I have to go. I turned away from the others, my claws scrabbling over my armor to find some way to release it. Almost without noticing, one of my claws found purchase on a piece that felt slightly differently and with a little extra pressure, released. A sudden WHOOSH of escaping air, the front of my armor moved forward as one piece, then split down the middle and moved to each side, shifting me forward slightly, to stand on the ground in bare feet.

My jaw dropped and I was suddenly very glad I was facing a corner. What the hell had happened to my shift? Wrinkle was a perverted old man. I shifted back and the armor closed around me again. Uh…well that was going to require some serious inspection later.

I turn around to confused stares, shrugged and ignored them all, striding to the door between the cherubs and throwing it open. I’d have to deal with it later when I was alone and could examine my armor better. At least I wasn’t feeling so tired anymore.

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As soon as we moved through the door, we were immediately attacked by stupid skeletons. Awesome. Moar undead. I freakin’ hate this place.

We committed to battle and my companions began throwing magic willy-nilly. In quick succession I was shocked and then burned – magic and close quarters is never a good recipe. E’ee launched a fantastic crackling ball of magic, electricity shot through my feet, traveling up my body and clicking my jaws together. If I managed to survive my companion’s idiocy, I might just survive the rest of this stupid place…

“Tupperware, Rollerskates and a whole lot of WTF.”

In 2010, I created a D&D character known as E’kai Komataree, a 4th Edition Dragonborn Paladin-then Warlord-then Hybrid Warlord/Paladin for a homebrew campaign.
What follows is E’kai’s personal journal which was originally started as a recap of the previous play session (we were only playing once a month), but then transitioned into a way for me to expand her character.

Our group of adventurers find a gate to another world and artifacts that bring forth memories of past lives…Destinies that have yet to be fulfilled.


I groaned and rolled on to my back, and stared up at the ceiling. The rooster crowing outside the window had about 2 seconds to shut up or else it was going to be stuffed and served as an amuse bouche.

I sat up stiffly. Damnit, I’d forgotten to remove and clean my armor last night. Splug sat in his corner, sniggering. One look from me had his jaw clicked shut. I stood up with minimal difficulty and attempted to pry off my breastplate. My claws could find no purchase beneath the metal, they slid off of it, the metal refusing to give. I frowned and tried at my left elbow, with the same lack of result. I peered at my cuffs and could see no joints – where two pieces had previously joined was now one smooth piece. I thought furiously for a moment and then tried removing my chest piece again. Where my claws had previously succeeded, they now epically failed. I stopped with a huff and realized I was panting. What had that idiot done to it last night?! It occurred to me that perhaps a tool of some sort would be able to release me. Maybe Corrina…
Oh HELL no. I would not even finish the thought. She would get entirely too much pleasure…

I huffed in frustration. I’d deal with this later. Certain needs were not yet…pressing, and I was just too bloody tired and frustrated to do anything at the moment. I made my way downstairs, refilled my travel rations and purchased a similar pack for Splug, for him to keep whatever in. As I stepped outside, the rooster opened his beak to crow once again. A piercing glare from me had the noise dying between his beak.

As I made the short trip to the stables, I noticed Wrinkle’s tent was gone, his space now occupied by a vendor who claimed to sell ancient magical “Tupperware”. The vendor called after me, claiming it was found some place called The Dead Sea. Dragonborn have no need of this “Tupperware”, dead or otherwise.

I saddled my horse and by the time I was I finished, the others had trickled out to the stables and were readying their own horses. We rode out within the hour, with no further delay.

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Upon reaching the Keep, we observed no trouble as we passed through the areas we’d previously cleared. Returning to the mysterious area where we’d foubd Kkestral, we carefully skirted around the floor runes, which E’ee assured us were teleporters of some kind. Reaching the end of the room, we opened a pair of double stone doors and filed down the revealed flight of stairs.

The fight we next engaged in can be summed up in the following statement:
Fucking multi-legged insects on roller skates. That can jump across a room with a single leap.
Stupid thingy. With stupid legs. On stupid roller skates.

Through out the entire fight, I felt as though my strength was being sapped away. As though I’d gotten no rest the previous night, even though I had slept soundly. Whatever the Elder had done the night before clearly was not up to snuff yet, and the fight was a closer call then I was going to admit to any of the others. I’d actually had to get my claws bloodied at the end of it.

And, as if that wasn’t enough to suffer through, *someone* who is blue and shall remain nameless managed to break the ONE artifact in this whole joint that appears to have the ability to stop time. AND I STILL CANNOT GET THIS STUPID ARMOR OFF.

I swear, if I ever see that crusty old man again…

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Six. Damn. Hours.
I really have to pee.