1 – Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying
2 – Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good
reason to change direction.
3 – Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4 – Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a
cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5 – Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap
6 – Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
7 – Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter
top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8 – Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready
9 – Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
10 – Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
11 – Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to
12 – First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.