Law of the Cat

1 – Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying
mouse.

2 – Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good
reason to change direction.

3 – Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 – Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a
cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

5 – Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap
just taken.

6 – Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 – Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter
top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 – Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready
to stop.

9 – Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 – Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

11 – Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to
do something.

12 – First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.