Canadian Temperature Scale:
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior’s water gets thicker.
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die…
Canadians lick the flagpole.
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.
The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can’t thaw the keg.
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Canada start saying, “Eh, Cold ’nuff for ya?”
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup