“Enter the Goblin.”

In 2010, I created a D&D character known as E’kai Komataree, a 4th Edition Dragonborn Paladin-then Warlord-then Hybrid Warlord/Paladin for a homebrew campaign.
What follows is E’kai’s personal journal which was originally started as a recap of the previous play session (we were only playing once a month), but then transitioned into a way for me to expand her character.

Our group of adventurers find a gate to another world and artifacts that bring forth memories of past lives…Destinies that have yet to be fulfilled.

I rose from my bed early the next morning and though I’d probably not shut my eyes for longer than ten minutes at a time, I felt refreshed, as though I’d spent the night on a bed of sweet hay. When I had returned to my room after speaking to the Ancient Elder WRINKLE the night previous, I had made a curious discovery, a leather bound journal had appeared in my chamber. Leafing through it’s pages, an idea had begun to grow and by the time I’d returned from breakfast I had come to the obvious conclusion: I would record for future reference our doings, so that I might examine them for training purposes or information at a later date. Besides, it was already clear to me that the rest of the bumbling idiots I was traveling with weren’t going to come up with the same idea on their own. I also suspect that the journal has come to me specifically, and therefore, I will do my best to treat it with the respect it deserves.

I have spent the last several hours recreating our journey as best as I remember, and this recording is now up to date. It is a good thing too, as IMMERAL the PALADIN now decides he is eager to be away for today’s doings. Inconsistent man…one day up, down the next. Confusing and annoying.

I will bring the journal with me, wrapped up neatly and tucked into the RANGER’s quiver. We go to the ruins of Shadowfell Keep today, the final spot of interest as listed on the map we received from WRINKLE several days ago. We must return to Irontooth’s lair, there is a passage behind the waterfall to the Keep there.

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What a waste of a day. First, it took almost all the light hours to get to the ruins themselves, never mind the organizational prep work which had to be inspected and redone this morning before we’d even left Winterhaven. How have any of these morons survived this long on their own? My mother Elder would be utterly ashamed to see them…but I digress.

Upon arrival at the keep, we discovered someone had made quick work of rubble excavation around stairs which seemed to descend down into the lower, but hopefully more intact levels of the Keep. The stairs seemed sturdy enough and so we ventured downwards.

I’m not sure what is going on between ELDAAR the RANGER and CORRINA the Rogue, but they’re now tying for first place for annoying me with IMMERIAL. They seem to be trying to one-up each other and in the process, are trying to kill each other.
As long as only they get killed, well, I don’t care.

Eldaar attempted to convince Corrina to walk over a rat filled pit, covered in a cleverly disguised tarp. I flambeed the rats easily, before having to deal with a handful of Kobolds and Goblins, attracted by the stupid arguing between Eldaar and Corrina.
The scent of roasting rat flesh along with the rotting scent of Kobold and Goblin blood adds so nicely to the dank sewer air of the ruins…it’s almost daisy fresh!

Choosing arbitrarily from three possible directions, we found ourselves poking through an empty storeroom filled with empty clay pots, which SOMEONE (*cough*Corrina*cough*) just HAD to go and smash open. Which then alerted the Goblins in the dungeon/torture chamber next door that we were coming – pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I’m surrounded by Undisciplined IDIOTS!! Corrina went flouncing into the corner after I admonished her for making a racket and while I was busy with her, IMMERAL slammed the next door opened – ruining any small hope of a surprise attack we’d had left. I should shove her into the Iron Maidens we found in the room, maybe a little time in one of them would improve her…

Once we finished disposing of the Goblins, we discovered that they had imprisoned one of their own for stealing ale rations, and in exchange for our promising to release him (and an additional promise from me not to eat him – as if I would, Goblin flesh is notoriously stringy), the Goblin has given us map details, such as they are. He apparently has very little grasp on proper proportional distances.

We’ve decided to take him with us for now, and have him bound and chained to my waist. We will see how long he manages to stay alive, most likely he will fall either to an enemies blade or I’ll decide I’m hungry after all…

By this point, I was tired of dealing with everyone. We made the Goblin taste the stew we found brewing in the chamber and once we were relatively sure he wasn’t poisoned, helped ourselves to some. I made the executive decision that we would remain in the chamber for the night, since the door was still mostly intact. It was a slight risk, we knew there to be more Goblins in the next room both from the rescued Goblin’s indication and from listening at the door, but I posted Corrina and Immeral to first watch – hopefully the two could manage to keep us alive – and if not, their certain indignant squawking as they were cut down would probably give the rest of us enough time to gather our wits and counter attack.